To be honest, I’ve always felt that my sense of self-worth is relatively low.
This feeling might be okay in everyday life, but in interview situations, it gets infinitely magnified. Recently, as I prepare for interviews in Japan, this feeling is especially obvious. For someone who has truly dedicated to learning Japanese for only a year, a Japanese interview is stressful enough on its own, and the language barrier feels like adding fuel to the fire of my low self-worth.
In this state, the most typical behavior is over-preparation.
There is a very special process in Japanese job hunting called カジュアル面談 (casual interview). Strictly speaking, it’s not a formal interview; it’s more like a mutual introduction. The individual gives a self-introduction, and the company uses a presentation to introduce its business, culture, and open positions. If both parties are interested, they will then proceed to formal stages like document screening and the first round of interviews.
To put it bluntly, it’s a bit like a blind date. You meet up first, have a chat, and see if it’s a good fit.
But looking back at my past casual interviews, I noticed an obvious problem: I prepared way too heavily.
Before every casual interview, I would spend a huge amount of time researching the company, checking its business, philosophy, and recruitment requirements, and constantly tweaking my motivation for applying (i.e., “why I want to join your company”). Of course, this isn’t completely meaningless, but in hindsight, the direction of my preparation was actually backwards.
I always started from the company’s philosophy, business, and recruitment requirements, trying hard to find “where I match with them”. In other words, from the very beginning, I put myself in a position to be chosen.
Subconsciously, I was thinking:
“How should I say this so they think I’m suitable?"
"How should I prepare so they feel my sincerity?"
"How do I package my experiences into what they want?”
But the truly reasonable sequence should actually be the other way around.
I should start from my own perspective and figure out: What kind of company do I really want to find? What kind of team am I suitable for? In what environment can my strengths be brought into play?
For example, the company I want to find might look like this:
A company continuously iterating its own product; a good team atmosphere with a relatively flat organizational structure; tech-driven, rather than pure business suppressing technology; actively using modern development environments and willing to use AI to improve efficiency; relatively friendly to foreigners; not treating chronic overtime as the default state.
These things are the criteria I truly should have clarified first.
That means, rather than forcing a “seemingly suitable” motivation for every single company, I should be using my own experiences, values, and strengths to judge whether this company is actually a good fit for me.
In the past, I did it backwards.
Behind this, it was actually my low self-worth playing tricks on me.
Because I felt I wasn’t enough, I always wanted to prepare a little more.
Because I felt my Japanese wasn’t good enough, I wanted to compensate with more materials.
Because I felt that as a foreigner, I always had to appear more sincere.
Because I was afraid of missing opportunities, I didn’t dare to face it more relaxedly.
But the results are often very realistic.
The things I spent a lot of time preparing for might not even be asked during a casual interview. The other side might just want a brief background check, see if language communication goes smoothly, and see if the overall vibe is right. Some companies might not want to hire foreigners in the first place; some companies might just feel the role isn’t a match; sometimes it’s simply an issue of chemistry, timing, budget, or internal priorities.
In other words, many outcomes won’t change just because I prepared a little more.
This gave me a very clear reminder: Effort is certainly important, but the relationship between effort and outcome is not linear.
There’s always a voice inside saying:
“It can’t hurt if I just try a little harder."
"Maybe it’s because I prepared this extra bit that I ultimately seized the opportunity."
"What if I didn’t prepare for it, and they happen to ask?”
This voice sounds very reasonable and is highly addictive. Because it makes people feel that as long as they keep trying, they can reduce uncertainty.
But the reality is, a lot of uncertainty cannot be eliminated by preparation.
I can prepare my self-introduction, my project experiences, my motivation, my reverse questions, and all sorts of questions that might be asked. However, whether the other party ultimately moves forward will still be affected by many factors beyond my control.
So it still boils down to the old saying: Do your best and leave the rest to fate.
Just happening to meet a company willing to give foreigners a chance, happening to meet an interviewer who appreciates my experience, happening to have my tech stack match their current needs, happening to find them really short of people right now. These cannot be prepared for, nor can they be controlled.
Therefore, what a person should do is not treat every interview like a destiny-deciding final exam, but rather master their own pace.
I should prepare, but not over-prepare to the point of losing myself.
I should respect opportunities, but not place myself too low.
I should understand the company, but not to flatter them.
I should express sincerity, but not to prove I am “worthy of being chosen”.
A truly healthy approach to interview preparation should be: Clearly organizing the most authentic, valuable, and sustainably output-capable parts of yourself, and then bringing that to meet different companies.
If they approve, that’s great.
If they don’t approve, that’s also normal.
Not every company is suitable for me, nor does every rejection mean I’m not good enough.
Especially looking for jobs in Japan, for me, the language, identity, visa, and cultural differences inherently add extra difficulty. These difficulties are real and don’t need to be pretended away. But precisely because of this, I shouldn’t convert all the pressure into “Then I’ll just prepare a bit more”. I don’t need to package myself into the person every company wants. That’s too exhausting, and not authentic.
People still need to have their own pace.
I have my experiences, my strengths, my personality, and the shortcomings I am working to improve. Being able to express that is enough. If the other party sees it and approves, that’s an opportunity. If the other party doesn’t see it, or doesn’t approve, it doesn’t mean I lack value.
For many things, just doing what you’re supposed to do is enough.
The rest is up to fate.